ASK TISH
Reader Question:
Hi Tish, I was recently invited to a colleague’s dinner party, but I’m unable to attend due to prior commitments. I don’t want to seem rude or uninterested, especially because we work closely together. What’s the best way to decline the invitation politely without causing any awkwardness?
Tish’s Answer:
Hi there! It’s a great question, and I applaud you for wanting to handle it thoughtfully. Declining an invitation gracefully can leave a positive impression, even if you’re unable to attend. Here’s how to do it with kindness and class:
- Respond Promptly
The sooner you let your colleague know, the better. A prompt response shows respect for their time and gives them a chance to plan accordingly. - Be Gracious and Show Appreciation
Express genuine gratitude for the invitation. You might say, “Thank you so much for inviting me! I’m honored to be included and it sounds like a wonderful evening.” - Politely Decline with a Brief Reason
While it’s not necessary to go into detail, a brief explanation can make your response feel sincere. Try, “Unfortunately, I have a prior commitment that I can’t reschedule, but I’d love to join another time.” - Suggest a Future Get-Together (if appropriate)
If you’d like to strengthen the relationship, suggest meeting up soon in another context. “Let’s grab coffee or lunch soon—I’d love to catch up with you!” - Send a Follow-Up Message (Optional)
If you have a close connection or want to show an extra layer of thoughtfulness, a follow-up message after the event can be a nice touch. Something like, “I hope your dinner went wonderfully! I look forward to hearing all about it!”
By expressing appreciation and politely declining, you communicate both professionalism and warmth, maintaining a positive relationship while respecting your own commitments.
Do you have an etiquette question for Tish? Email questions and testimonials to tish@elitesocietyetiquette.com.
